The best policy

In nursery at church, Eliza made a puppet that has a sad face on one side that says “I am sad when I don’t tell the truth” and the other side says “I am happy when I am honest.” Although I think a more accurate puppet for her would be “I’m happy when I never get punished and always get treats,” I am glad that she is being taught the virtue of honesty at church, as well as at home.

This past month we had some disappointing run- ins where honesty was concerned.

There was an incident with a bank not paying up anticipated rewards due to a confusing wording. There was the “free” photo shoot that landed us a hefty “shipping and handling” fee after the fact (and some really unflattering pictures of Lily). And then there was one of Lily’s hospital bills (from her birth) that our insurance didn’t cover for because she had been charged for a “private room.” In the hospital nursery. (Mark pointed out that her little incubator did kind of have vaulted ceilings.)

I think it's safe to say that since the economy has taken a turn for the worse, everyone has begun to feel financial pressure. But that’s no justification for dishonesty. It looks like now is the time, more than ever before, to teach our kids to have integrity.

It’s easy to feel discouraged about widespread dishonesty. One day when I was reflecting with dismay on my experiences with dishonesty, I remembered two times last month when I’d left my wallet and purse at a store (and obviously my brain at home). Both times I recovered everything. The burden of despair I was feeling was lifted a little as I wondered what the person who returned my wallet was like. Was it a busy mom like me, whose children watched her turn it in? Was it an elderly man wheeling his grocery cart full of cat food back to Customer Service to turn my wallet in? Was it a teenager who figured someone with a taped up wallet needed those five bucks more than they did?

I suddenly felt hopeful for the world. And grateful that someone’s mom (or church teacher) taught them that “I am happy when I am honest.” And I realized that an important counterpart lesson (or puppet?) is “Other people are happy when I am honest.” And also “Other people’s husbands are happy when I am honest and return their wife’s wallet.”

And I felt hopeful for my neighborhood. I know that my neighbors aren’t lacking in honesty because I've been asked twice at church in the last month if I was pregnant. And my honest response might not mean much on April Fool’s Day, but the truth is that I may have had a small self-esteem crisis after that. Maybe there could be a puppet with a sad face that says “I have conflicted feelings when other people are honest about the size of my stomach.” But that could be confusing for two year olds. Because old people obviously haven't figured it out yet.