Would you rather...?

When my youngest sister, Heather, was little, she went through a very long phase of asking everyone questions like “Would you rather fall off and mountain and die, or be lit on fire?” To really shake things up, she began investigating our spiritual devotion as well. “Would you rather lose your testimony, or be eaten by sharks?”

Tonight I wondered if four-year-old Heather might have been interested in a not-so-hypothetical question I formulated at the 10^th hour of our 12 hour car trip. “Would you rather have your toddler throw up in the car or on an airplane?”

And, unlike many years ago, when I had never had any experience with either part of the question, I can say that Sage throwing up in the car today was slightly less painful than Sage throwing up in the airplane two years ago.

I admit there are a few lurking variables. But here are the constants. In both instances:

--I smelled like vomit for 3 hours after the incident (in spite of clean up attempts).

--Sage’s precious “baby blanket” was rendered out of commission (bad news).

--The deed took place after dinner at a fast food place (foul, foul, foul).

Reasons to choose the car over the plane:

--A finite number of people fit in a car. (Tonight there were only 3 other people to witness, hear, and smell the deed. Airplanes hold a few more.)

--Family members are more forgiving than Southwest patrons.

--You can open up a car window for ventilation.

--The odor eliminating spray the airline attendants use only works for 30 minutes.

So, next time Heather asks, tell her I'd rather eat dirt than have a toddler throw up anywhere near me, but I would also rather the toddler threw up in a car than that I find out The Book of Mormon is not true.