Friends, parents, lurkers, lend me your ears. And your sympathy, and your suggestions, and some dark chocolate if you have any.
I am desperate. A desperate housewife, if you will. (But without the infidelity and cleavage.)
Eliza climbed out of her crib yesterday. I always hoped my children would be advanced, but these prideful desires did NOT extend to their ability to exit the wonderful cage that is responsible for much of my sanity--their crib.
My overachieving two-year-old climbed out of her cage, I mean crib, after I put her down for a nap yesterday. I jumped a mile and almost wet my pants (darn pregnancy muscles) when she suddenly appeared beside me in the kitchen a few minutes later, looking very guilty but rather pleased with herself.
If the truth be told, for about thirty seconds, I was pleased with her, too. I took her back to her crib, and encouraged her to show me how she got out. This constituted the final happy thirty seconds I've had in the last twenty-four hours, as the truth quickly dawned on me: no more naps, and no more pre-11:00pm bedtimes for the little monkey. I am an idiot.
Due to the terrible sleep she got yesterday, Eliza went most of this morning without uttering a single phrase devoid of the introductory clause, "No, I no want ___"
After two hours of such delightful interaction, I was ready to slit my wrists. But, as a medically safer alternative, I chose to snarf the rest of the large bag of dark chocolate M+Ms that Mark bought on Saturday night. Nice. The perfect remedy for having a non-sleeping, eternally grumpy child: putting on ten pounds in a week. My OB's gonna love this move.
Please excuse me while I go feel sorry for myself and try to dig up some more chocolate, and wonder when the screaming 2-year-old in the bedroom is going to finally bite the dust. (We took out all the toys and tied the door shut...one of the advantages of never having replaced the missing doorknob. Also, we get to practice the limbo when we need to enter the bathroom...at least until I figure out how else to tie the bedroom door shut.)
Surely there must be some fellow suffering parents out there. Does anyone have any suggestions? And maybe some earplugs?
P.S.--Wall-E was cute. A little tree-huggerish for the likes of me, but cute. I'm always amazed at Pixar's ability to make strange things (like a beat-up robot) so endearing. But not endearing enough to make me want to buy this. Right now I'm saving my money for this or maybe just this.
23 comments:
HA! or maybe you could just tape her hands, or tie her to the bed (but then you might spend the night behind bars, not liza!)
i wonder how mom got away with that... jk mom:)
My mom tied both my brothers to their beds with the tie for my dad's bathrobe when they were at this stage. I've considered it with Caleb on a twice weekly basis for the last year. No solutions here. :(
Maybe you should try Dad's methods of just holding her eyelids shut until she falls asleep. It worked for me (but, then again, I was never as stubborn as Liza)!
Chuckle, chuckle, snort, sniff, chuckle, sigh...translation that was hilarious! And may your sanity rest in peace, a moment of silence for naps long lost. Aside from enjoying your humor, I'm afraid I don't have any practical suggestions. But I did lean towards the 3rd this of your this, this, and this links. Link number 2 would is so pretty it would probably just get ripped to shreds! GOOD LUCK!
duct tape?
then again didn't m&d put a mattress on top of rich or heath's crib to keep them from crawling out?
For our son, we put him in a toddler bed and then turned the door knob so that the lock was on the outside. Just make sure to have some sort of key on top of the door in case your kids lock you in.
Good luck. As always, I'm sympathetic. I just hated it when a child learned to climb out of their crib . . . especially Krista at 5 months! --Love, Mom
So- maybe she'll stop climbing out:-) Luke climbed out once or twice and then stayed in for another six months...but then you know Luke. Since being away from Provo we've had him in a big boy bed or pack 'n play- both of which he gets out of. I bought those knob things and he hasn't figured them out yet. I'm also for turning the doorknob around and then locking the door. It was hard for the first few days (ie loud) but then Luke got used to it and stopped crying everytime we put him to bed. In another three weeks you can just bring your kiddos to my house so they can take a "nap" while you really do take a nap :-)
I am in mourning for you! (And me when I keep her for a entire week!)I say try to tent...Also, invest in good earplugs while she screams herself to sleep. Good luck and keep us posted!
Ha, you desperate housewife. That stinks big time. I know. And I agree with you, I am no longer willing to rock kids to sleep for 30 minutes to get a 60 minute nap. I say go for the tent all the way. I totally would have gotten one except we had a pack and play. If you don't like it, I'll buy it from you. (That always seems to encourage you to buy things.)
Drew was climbing out of his crib at 13 months so I put a doorknob cover on, turned his crib into a toddler bed and let him play himself to sleep. He would play for the first 1/2 hour and then go to sleep for a good 2 hrs. My Eliza was a terrible sleeper and once we took her out of the crib, she never took a nap. It might take her a couple of days to get the hang of going to sleep without the cage.
Maybe it's a blessing in disguise- now you have a little time to get her used to either a tent or being out of the crib (whichever you decide) before the new baby comes. Maybe? Just trying to see some positive. :)
I've heard some success with the tent, but I also have heard of kids just breaking right out of those too. My sister put a gate in the doorway of her boys' bedroom to keep her boys in. They could open the door, but not get out. Earplugs would come in handy there.
Personally, I'm a fan of the idea of trapping them in (or bribing them to stay in if it works) and letting them just play until they fall asleep. Just strat bedtime a little earlier and know that the first few nights could be rough. But they get used to it. Good luck!
Oh, Janel, you make me laugh! It is so good having children so close in age, and to know that my friends can sympathize. Family sometimes ask my when I'm going to take Lydia out of her crib. My response, "Do I need to?" There's no rush for me, and I am dreading the day when the "climb-out" happens. So sorry! I love that you tied the door shut! Others I know have just turned the doorknob around and locked it from the outside. Hang in there!
That is no fun; but the Only remedy that I found with Marty was to consistently put him back into bed, over and over again until he got the idea that he wasn't going to get up and play or be out of bed until I was ready. (Kind of like in Little Women when Margret's husband sits next to the twins' bed and just keeps making them lay down until they are so tired they fall asleep.)
14 comments girl! Maybe make blogging your occupation and mothering your hobby...?? Joking joking, but your fan club awaits another genius post!
P.S. I have lots of dark chocolate and homade brownies floating around right now if you are still in need of some! :)
I love this post :) I overindulge on chocolate when I'm stressed too. My latest guilty pleasure -- dark chocolate snickers. Yikes!
Someday you'll laugh at this as hard as we are...
Hey, I can hardly wait to hear what you've done:) Hope Eliza just decided on her own to go back to staying in bed:)
Wow. I am your 20th comment. What's your record? Just kidding. I say first see if she continues to crawl out. McKenna did that once too and then forgot how. Then I would go for the toddler bed and door cover as previously suggested. You have to train her to sleep in a bed eventually anyways. Finally I am all about the bribe. Maybe some chocolate-or even better, some Wall-E sheets
My kids just opened their new Wall-E comforters yesterday!
My boys go to bed a little earlier with the lights on, soft music playing, and limited access to toys. We just can't keep them in their beds, and I think it's good that they can calm themselves in a sleeping routine. Unfortunately, they are up talking late some nights!
whoa, you totally have a TON of comments on here, what a stud! ;) Not that I'm surprised because your posts are genius. I just wanted to say that my sister-in-law got the crib tent and thought she had died and gone to heaven- she SWEARS that it is the best invention ever. She's written many a post on the joys of having one and the woes of when she didn't have one. She is so happy with it that that she just bought one to fit over his porta-crib so he can't escape when they are staying out of town or going camping. I guess it just depends on how insistent Eliza is on getting out...
That was really funny! Sorry I dropped by through Liz's new blog. I think she is the neatest girl on the planet and was curious about her super cool family.
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