In honor of yesterday marking the 6-week countdown to delivery of baby #3, (and in honor of me having fixed my hair and put on makeup in the same 12-hour period) I thought I'd post a picture of myself. I must warn you--"large with child" is a good description, I think--though the largeness may be more due to my current obsession with fresh peaches on ice cream than the four pound fetus inside me. The process of getting a picture for this post was no small feat. A little self-diagnosis would reveal that I have a major complex about having my picture taken. Last night, I waited until Mark was gone and the kids were in bed, then I closed all the blinds and pulled out the camera. I started the automatic timer, then rushed to the other side of the room and tried to look calm and composed as I smiled benevolently at the blinking red light which—of course—failed to snap until I risked a quick blink or unintentionally flared my nostrils. I took half a dozen pictures and deleted most of them on the spot, turning a little red as I thought of the audacity I had to stage this secret photo shoot.
I gave up before I was happy with the result, but vowed that this would mark the day of a new phase of picture confidence in me. The end result, to my dismay today, is a picture taken at just the right angle to capture a massive love handle and what looks like a little belly. I think I should label the bottom of the picture with the disclaimer: "Objects in picture are larger than they appear--except the love handles, which couldn’t possibly be bigger than they appear." Perhaps this is my punishment for making fun of Sarah Menet's picture on the back of her book.
This picture phobia was not inherited by many of my sisters. Last month I borrowed a great book from my mom’s bookshelf, and tucked inside I found this (classic) picture of two of my sisters that my mom was either using as a bookmark or a reminder of how much work she has left to do.
The funny thing is, these two anonymous sisters are among the most photogenic and beautiful girls I know (see here and here). Maybe that's why they are confident enough to take, and print, pictures of themselves like this.
My qualms about pictures of me include, but are not limited to, the following:
- Documentation of the number of days I wear my hair in a ponytail
- Documentation of the number of zits I have
- Documentation of those extra pounds of chub I’d like to drop
- If I post a picture of myself, that’s like making the claim that I think I look great in the picture. And what if other people think I don’t? But, if I take/keep/post a picture of myself with my kids, it’s obvious that I was not pointing to how great I think I look in the picture, but actually how cute my kids are, right? So I can still be humble? (Even though I will never post a picture of ugly me and cute kids.)
- What if no one wants to see me with the same look in every single picture? (I always try to have the exact same fake smile in each.)
- I don’t think I’m ugly, but I am always a little offended at what truly candid pictures reveal of what I look like candidly throughout the day.
In summary, I think I may need counseling.
But now that I’ve stalled long enough, here’s the picture I've talked up way too much. It's kind of anticlimactic. No kids in sight. And no mustache.)
23 comments:
I always think nice hair and makeup go extra well with yoga pants. I was laughing my head off when I read this, especially at the thought of you sneakily taking pictures of yourself with the timer after everyone else is in bed! And then the 1 mm tall picture at the end, which everyone (like me) will undoubtedly click on and enlarge to discover no love handles at all, only a hot babe.
Ha! I love the size of the picture (which I, like Danielle, immediately enlarged). You look amazing--and not 7.5 months pregnant. Jealous. You look beautiful (as you do in all the pictures I have of you--and given our locale, that says something!).
What's up with the tiny picture? You're hilarious! But, I too enlarged it and have to say that you look great! Seriously. The thing about you is you're just a natural beauty. Sorry, you'll have to try a lot harder than that to look huge. You just look like a darling pregnant girl. . .and not anywhere near delivery day. You're awesome!
Janel I live for reading your posts! You seriously have a way with words and you should think about writing a book! You crack me up! It always lifts and lightens my day to read your posts! By the way-you are way cute pregnant...you were with Eliza too! I do understand about the picture phobia-but you look so great in your photo! I can't believe only three weeks left-you look amazing! Any names yet?
Hmm, I might know of a "photographer with a healthy proficiency in Photoshop". The travel fees might be rather steep.
I think you worry way too much. You always look cute. Besides, Lily needs to see some pictures of you pregnant with her! :)
Janel, you look good for being pregnant and I've always thought your ponytail look was cute. (A sleek ponytail is much better than a big fluffy one like mine.) I've never liked having my picture taken either but somehow I ended up posing for several with each pregnancy, every 5 weeks starting at 20. I haven't done anything with them and I probably won't but it will be fun to pull them out when my girls are having babies 20 years from now. I'm sure yours will appreciate it too.
how dare you post a hottie pic of you right after the barf one of me and suz! evil blogger. but, i must admit, i've always felt like the ponytail look is the cutest look. and quick! :)
Janel, I love this post because I can completely relate to you. I too am not an avid picture and am wary of ever posting a picture of me on my blog... I guess the good? thing about being a mom is you are usually the one behind the camera... But you do look great and I too was laughing at the teeny, tiny little picture you posted. So... post more pictures! And where did that mustache picture go? Hmmm?
Um.. okay, that comment was posted by me and not Bubba. Although I'm sure he would concur that you are a beauty :) - Kim
You are HOW close to delivery? Girl, be grateful you inherited Wilson genes instead of Clawson genes. I was that big at 5 months! You have nothing, I repeat, nothing to worry about. Of course, everybody is more self conscious pregnant, but seriously, if you want to feel better I'll email you a picture of me as far along as you and you will feel much better. :) Ps- Remember that my mom couldn't see her toes by the end of her pregnancies?! If you can still see your toes, you are good to go.
Large with child? Not even! You are still small. Congrats on the 6 week mark. I wish I only had 6 weeks left...sometimes. I guess I think that, but realize that with a new baby I'll probably get even less sleep. You look adorable by the way, but your picture was too small. I had to click on it to enlarge it!
Love the incognito photo shoot! If I EVER post a photo of myself if/when I'm pregnant it will be irrecognizably photoshopped-like maybe I'll cut and paste an adorable pregnant belly onto myself and a non-Miss Piggy-esque face. Be glad you don't have to worry about that because YOU look TERRIFFIC!! Kudos to you and your genetic maekup/self-control with 40 pounds of chocolate under your bed. So tricky with the tiny wallet size picture too!
Hear Hear to Danielle's comment!!
i am with Danielle and definately clicked on the picture to get the full view of the hot mama. you look beautiful as ever and we miss you guys!
Janel, I love your ability to turn the mundane into high entertainment! You left me chuckling...again! --Mom
You look GREAT! Silly self-deprecating Janel!! Loved this whole post. I think most everyone has those same picture issues. (But it doesn't stop me from posting them anyway...)
holy smokes 17 comments! ow ow! (must be the picture of me and bec, right... bleh)
You are brave to post of picture of yourself in the 3rd trimester. I never could because I never got ready. You don't look "huge" you are just very pregnant and feel "huge". Huge is all about perpective right? :0
I love it! Every kid should be able to see what he or she looks like in the womb. And I think it's a great picture. As Lydia would say, "Silly girl!"
You, forget, I saw you with PUPS; you look gorgeous!!! Take more pictures; there are definantly some unflattering ones of me out there:)
You are so beautiful! Most pregnant women are not so lovely...and thin! I was laughing my head off at this post, especially the part about how we feel okay about posting pictures of ourselves with our kids, but not just of ourselves, because then it's like saying we think we look good. So true! I have the same qualms about pictures of myself...I want no documentation of my imperfections!
Janel-what a beauty. Thanks for the prep because I know exactly what it was like however my pictures didn't turn out like yours. Plus, it seems you may be fibbing because I think you look like you're due in more like 12 weeks. Congrats! You're getting so close. But enjoy what you can of sleep while you can. It looks like you're getting plenty of beauty sleep-from your picture at least!
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