Ruffles libres

Do you ever get the feeling that everyone is watching you, and not because you have an amazing haircut, or a sweet new pair of pants, or even a really cute newborn? [Actually, Suzy is the one with the sweet haircut, Danielle’s got the cute newborn, and I did get a new pair of pants, but it was up a size from the last one, and that’s why I needed it.]

Tonight we went to a Nacho Libre birthday party for our friend, Larry. I made a special trip to D.I. (a thrift store) to procure a costume that would be worthy of Jack Black himself. I found an excellent ruffle-y cream colored tent that someone had hung on the “women’s blouses” rack. Perfect for a reenactment of Nacho’s little debut as a musician at the “parteee.” Sage helped me dig out an old dollar store trumpet, which had seen better days (such as the time when it’s mouthpiece and fourth key were actually attached and not floating around in the bottom of the toybox).

I don’t usually have the guts to wear a costume like this. But it was a special exception, because the birthday boy himself was wearing an excellent Nacho Libre mask, large red underwear, and a cape, all on top of his normal clothes. I wanted Mark to wear a suit and a gold mask to the party, but I knew better than to ask. And besides, Becca already tried spray painting a ski mask gold, which was impossible to put on once the paint dried. Also, Mark would have had to gain about 200 pounds to pull off the “Ramses” look. I donned the ruffley shirt alone. [Sage begged to be able to wear her princess dress…I think she had the wrong idea about the look I was going for.] I was a little scared when lots of ruffles poked their way out of the sleeves of my pea coat on the drive over, but by then there was no turning back. Besides, I'd already invested two whole dollars in my costume.

The party was a lot of fun. Danielle and I made nachos, and Trine made an amazing luchador cake, as well as the classic elotes [grilled corn cobs] from the movie, which made me want to quote my favorite line from the movie “Get that corn out of my face!”

Complete with green plastic trumpet, I was ready to make my debut, but I began to get a little self-conscious. I think no one could help but stare at me the moment they set eyes on my cream tent shirt. [It was something an elephant-sized Professor Umbridge might have worn.] I didn’t have the guts to explain my outfit to each guest, and I don’t think it was quite authentic enough so as to settle the question without leaving a few doubts. So the staring began. And the staring continued with my posterity.

At one point, I gave Sage a plate of nachos, and she disappeared downstairs with the goods. She returned and casually mentioned “Mommy, I made a big mess” and started to prance off. “What do you mean a big mess?” I asked her. She corrected herself, “I mean, a little mess.” And she was gone. It turns out her “little mess” was Spanish rice ground into the white carpet downstairs…whether the grinding took place before or after she fled the crime scene, I don’t know. I was too busy investigating crime scene number two, perpetrated by Eliza.

Like an idiot, I had noticed Eliza holding a glass cup, and did nothing. Actually, I was probably stuffing my face with delicious Luchador birthday cake. Then came the crash. Cursing myself, I rushed to help clean up the glass shards as ten curious (and barefoot) kids under the age of four came to investigate. After I finished sweeping and the birthday boy finished vacuuming, Sage was christian enough to pick up the last remaining invisible glass shard in the bottom of her foot, so as to spare the others from injury. When I saw her clinging to the pant leg of a total stranger, I knew there was trouble.

I was beginning to feel stifled by my ruffley shirt. With my own sanity wavering at this point, I decided it was time we made an exit. I tried to pack up the kids before we could create another scene. One example of a “scene” is having your three year old demand an elote right when you’re trying to put on her coat, and soon after she recovered from the glass incident. I made my escape halfway through this scene.

Once out in the car, I wondered if I was crazy…beginning with the ruffles. But instead of beating myself up about looking silly [as I was severely tempted to do], I decided to take a lesson from Jack Black, and give myself a big pat on the back for being brave. It took guts to wear a costume, and I did it. Tomorrow I think I’ll donate the ruffle tent back to D.I. But maybe I’ll check out what they’ve got in spandex. Just in case.